More News From Nowhere

OJ Simpson is guilty. Good. Maybe now we can stop hearing about him. That won’t be the case, though, as the appeals process is long and arduous. No, we’ll be hearing about Orenthal James well into the next decade because Simpson faces up to life in prison for theft and kidnapping–and his jury consisted mostly of women, and had no black people. Already the cries of racism and fixed judicial proceedindgs are tearing across the land.

Mixed Martial Arts Fighter Kimbo Slice (love that name), who was supposed to be a big star, got his lights knocked out by a jab from a rather obscure opponent (who one could argue will not remain in obscurity for much longer). Was the fight fixed? Was it a lucky blow? Do I really care?

Near my old college town of Chico, in Oroville in fact, some thieves are trying to steal plants from medical marijuana facilities–like the opposition needs any more ammunition in their crusade to shut those places down. Give the thieves credit for creativity, though, because they dressed as police officers to do their dirty deed. Way to increase trust between the citizenry and law-enforcement, something that is in abundance in the Chico area.

Skype may not be secure. The Chinese government are spying on their country’s version of skype, searching the text messages sent for words like democracy. This is kind of scary, but it’s China so who is surprised, really? Well, the point is that it might not just be happening in China, but other places like Europe and the United States. The FBI has long been trying to get permission to wire tap people’s Skype accounts, arguing that criminals could use the technology to chat with one another without fear of being caught. Privacy advocates say that the Feds don’t need to invade our personal lives anymore than they already are. This topic could be its own post, so I’ll stop before I really get going on a good rant.

Kindergarten Killer. OMFG. Now I am not a person who believes that violence in games results in violence in real life. I am pretty liberal in that sense, and yes I admit I like to play Grand Theft Auto just for the thrill of running around and wreaking havoc on the populace. Screw playing the missions, I just want to kill stuff. But this is ridiculous. There is a game out there on the internet called Kindergarten Killer, the point of which is to wander through a school and–you guessed it–kill kindergarteners. This actually makes me a little ill just writing about it. What makes it worse is that until recently the game was featured on a Finnish website of children’s games. Now, I haven’t played the game (and I won’t). Usually I would at least check it out for posterity, but the very idea is so repulsive to me that I think I can safely forgo it this once. But I want to know: Who thought it was a good idea to put this on a site intended for children?

Believe it or not this:

will kill these: and the AIDS Virus too. Think about that next time you enjoy a refreshing coca-cola. It is recommended, though that you do not try to prove this already scientifically proven fact as you may end up pregnant, AIDS infected, or at the very least, with sticky nether-regions.

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