An Open Letter to Megan Fox

Dear Miss Fox,

Do me a favor and please stop posing with your mouth open. It is not “hot” or “sexy.” It makes you look like some kind of bubble headed tramp at a frat party just waiting for some douchebag to come and grope you while making “devil” horns and sticking his tongue out. It is not classy or cool or attractive at all. And speaking of tongues sticking out, that is something else that I would like you to stop doing; it is just plain stupid and disgusting. Case in point:

Now, there is no doubt that you are an attractive young lady. The shapely body, the olive skin, the dark hair and big lips, all of these are attributes that you have and scream beautiful. But, when you look like you do in the above picture, all of that beauty takes a back seat to trashiness. And while trashiness has its own merits, it is possible to be beautifully trashy, when you do it, it just takes away from your natural beauty. I mean, what are you doing in this picture, anyway? Are you trying to be the sexy vixen who licks her lips as she readies to pounce on her new object of lust? Or are you just trying to get a piece of lettuce out of your teeth? See, I think it is the first one, but I don’t know, because it could just as easily be the latter.

But even when you are not licking your lips, you have a tendency to have your mouth open just a bit. For example:

Here you are on a beach, and I will admit that you look good. But there it is again, that half open mouth smile, but your eyes are dead. Here you do not look as sultry as you think you do. In fact, you just look confused and unintelligent. I do not know you, but I do not think that you are a trashy, stupid, dead-inside person, but this photo, and others like it make it appear so. You look much better, much more intelligent, and much classier when you give a full smile that puts some life in your eyes. Like this photo, for instance:

Here, you look alive, classy and smart. You look like you are enjoying yourself, and it shows. Also, you don’t have that dead between the ears look that is apparent in so many of your photos.

I know this is not all your fault. You have photographers (professionals at that) that tell you how to pose and how to smile, but I think that you should tell them to shut up once in a while and do the shoot how you (or rather how I) want. You are a young independent woman, so act like it and take charge. You don’t have to end up looking like a trashy tramp with nothing to offer the world but her good looks. I don’t know, maybe that is all you have to offer, but if it isn’t, please start acting like it.

Thank you.

Babbling

I am bored at the moment, and feeling unmotivated. I want to write something, and I even know what, but I am feeling lathargic and lazy and uninspired. Maybe it is because of all the rain. Don’t get me wrong, I love the rain, but I think I am getting tired of it, or at least its insistence on staying.

The weather in the Czech Republic has been pretty crazy as of late. It has been hot and humid in the mornings, then it turns into thundershowers in the afternoons and early evenings. Then it cools down and stays damp. The next day the cycle repeats itself. It gets frustrating because you can be outside, enjoying the heat of the sun and the brightness of the day: the green and yellow and pink and red and blue and purple flowers and vines everywhere; the coolness of the wind as it gusts over the town, carrying with it droplets of moisture plucked from the ground, and the refreshing smell of new clean life, and then the sky darkens, the wind grows cold and a heavy rain starts, soaking you, in your shorts and t-shirt, instantly.

It makes it hard to just get up and get outside if you want to remain somewhat comfortable the whole time. This means planning and packing a bag to store an umbrella, poncho, raincoat, whatever, just so you can go for a walk around town. Sometimes I don’t want to take my backpack when I leave the house. I just want to step outside and walk for a bit, or longer if I so choose, without having to be prepared for sudden inclement weather.

At any rate I am bored and a little restless, and letting the weather get the best of me. I know I should not do this, and that I should just suck it up and pack the bag with the rain coat in it, just in case. Or I should get one of those pocket ponchos so that I don’t have to carry a bag, but just a little rolled up piece of plastic that is supposed to keep me dry. It’s worth a shot I suppose.

Until then, though, I will just complain about the weather (a time proven technique that gets results) until I get sick enough of my own voice that I will take action and learn how to live in a way that allows me to not be so affected by how nice the day is.

In fact that is how a lot of my life is. I complain about something, or stew about it, brooding and getting agitated until I can no longer stand it and I have to do something about it. The real pisser, of course, is I usually end up doing what I had wanted to do all along, so it turns out that all that time spent complaining was just time wasted. It would seem that since I am aware of this I would take real action to change it since, apparently, it is something I dislike, but that is where appearances deceive. True, I do not like the time wasting aspect of this process, but I do not think that I have a real desire to change it. I don’t know why. Maybe it is fear (of what?), or indigestion (too much cheese today, apparently), but either way I think I will keep this part of the process until I am ready to shed it.

So I wrote something here. It was not what I set out to write, but it was something and it was a good start. It made me feel better, in a cathartic kind of way, so yay me. Anyway, thanks for reading and there will be more posts soon.