I am bored at the moment, and feeling unmotivated. I want to write something, and I even know what, but I am feeling lathargic and lazy and uninspired. Maybe it is because of all the rain. Don’t get me wrong, I love the rain, but I think I am getting tired of it, or at least its insistence on staying.
The weather in the Czech Republic has been pretty crazy as of late. It has been hot and humid in the mornings, then it turns into thundershowers in the afternoons and early evenings. Then it cools down and stays damp. The next day the cycle repeats itself. It gets frustrating because you can be outside, enjoying the heat of the sun and the brightness of the day: the green and yellow and pink and red and blue and purple flowers and vines everywhere; the coolness of the wind as it gusts over the town, carrying with it droplets of moisture plucked from the ground, and the refreshing smell of new clean life, and then the sky darkens, the wind grows cold and a heavy rain starts, soaking you, in your shorts and t-shirt, instantly.
It makes it hard to just get up and get outside if you want to remain somewhat comfortable the whole time. This means planning and packing a bag to store an umbrella, poncho, raincoat, whatever, just so you can go for a walk around town. Sometimes I don’t want to take my backpack when I leave the house. I just want to step outside and walk for a bit, or longer if I so choose, without having to be prepared for sudden inclement weather.
At any rate I am bored and a little restless, and letting the weather get the best of me. I know I should not do this, and that I should just suck it up and pack the bag with the rain coat in it, just in case. Or I should get one of those pocket ponchos so that I don’t have to carry a bag, but just a little rolled up piece of plastic that is supposed to keep me dry. It’s worth a shot I suppose.
Until then, though, I will just complain about the weather (a time proven technique that gets results) until I get sick enough of my own voice that I will take action and learn how to live in a way that allows me to not be so affected by how nice the day is.
In fact that is how a lot of my life is. I complain about something, or stew about it, brooding and getting agitated until I can no longer stand it and I have to do something about it. The real pisser, of course, is I usually end up doing what I had wanted to do all along, so it turns out that all that time spent complaining was just time wasted. It would seem that since I am aware of this I would take real action to change it since, apparently, it is something I dislike, but that is where appearances deceive. True, I do not like the time wasting aspect of this process, but I do not think that I have a real desire to change it. I don’t know why. Maybe it is fear (of what?), or indigestion (too much cheese today, apparently), but either way I think I will keep this part of the process until I am ready to shed it.
So I wrote something here. It was not what I set out to write, but it was something and it was a good start. It made me feel better, in a cathartic kind of way, so yay me. Anyway, thanks for reading and there will be more posts soon.