An Open Letter to Megan Fox

Dear Miss Fox,

Do me a favor and please stop posing with your mouth open. It is not “hot” or “sexy.” It makes you look like some kind of bubble headed tramp at a frat party just waiting for some douchebag to come and grope you while making “devil” horns and sticking his tongue out. It is not classy or cool or attractive at all. And speaking of tongues sticking out, that is something else that I would like you to stop doing; it is just plain stupid and disgusting. Case in point:

Now, there is no doubt that you are an attractive young lady. The shapely body, the olive skin, the dark hair and big lips, all of these are attributes that you have and scream beautiful. But, when you look like you do in the above picture, all of that beauty takes a back seat to trashiness. And while trashiness has its own merits, it is possible to be beautifully trashy, when you do it, it just takes away from your natural beauty. I mean, what are you doing in this picture, anyway? Are you trying to be the sexy vixen who licks her lips as she readies to pounce on her new object of lust? Or are you just trying to get a piece of lettuce out of your teeth? See, I think it is the first one, but I don’t know, because it could just as easily be the latter.

But even when you are not licking your lips, you have a tendency to have your mouth open just a bit. For example:

Here you are on a beach, and I will admit that you look good. But there it is again, that half open mouth smile, but your eyes are dead. Here you do not look as sultry as you think you do. In fact, you just look confused and unintelligent. I do not know you, but I do not think that you are a trashy, stupid, dead-inside person, but this photo, and others like it make it appear so. You look much better, much more intelligent, and much classier when you give a full smile that puts some life in your eyes. Like this photo, for instance:

Here, you look alive, classy and smart. You look like you are enjoying yourself, and it shows. Also, you don’t have that dead between the ears look that is apparent in so many of your photos.

I know this is not all your fault. You have photographers (professionals at that) that tell you how to pose and how to smile, but I think that you should tell them to shut up once in a while and do the shoot how you (or rather how I) want. You are a young independent woman, so act like it and take charge. You don’t have to end up looking like a trashy tramp with nothing to offer the world but her good looks. I don’t know, maybe that is all you have to offer, but if it isn’t, please start acting like it.

Thank you.


5 comments on “An Open Letter to Megan Fox

  1. mcarteratthemovies says:

    I think I speak for everyone one when I say it’s about TIME someone called Megan Fox on her weird obsession with mouth-open posing! It’s like someone told her as a child that opening your mouth on-camera makes you look hotter and more desirable (as if she needs help with that). You’re right; it makes her look ridiculous. That’s a shame, too, because she showed she had some comic timing in “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.”

    M. Carter at the Movies

  2. denco says:

    Dear poster please feel free to stfu. I as well as many other men and women like seeing a woman asserting her sexuality with mouth open and closed. There is something truly sensual about a woman with nice smile licking her lips.. I do know that this post is nearly 3 years old and I may be speaking to dead air but …. yea … open mout licking lips = sexy

    • Hey Denco, thanks for reading. Feel free to do so. And feel free to continue finding sexy what you do, and I will feel free to keep posting about things I think are unsexy and we can all just live happily in our own worlds where we like what we like and we dislike what we dislike and we talk freely express those opinions.

    • We’re all entitled to our opinions, Denco. You find Megan Fox attractive with her mouth half open. I think she looks generic and plastic, and like any other ‘it’ or ‘hot girl’ of the moment. It doesn’t make her special or pretty to me, but rather, it makes her ugly. Feel free to join George Michael in eating dicks. #eatadickgeorgemichael.

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