With the exception of that picture of the cat dressed up like Raggedy Andy (or whatever that creepy stuffed raggedly boy doll was called) I have been pretty silent on this blog as of late. Well, that has mostly been just because I have been quite busy at work, and I once again tried to participate in NANO this year (as the four of you who read this blog may remember from one of my last posts), and once again proved that I was not ready for the commitment. I did better this year, though. I hit somewhere near 11,000 words. I would give you and exact number, but I am too lazy to open the file, highlight the text and hit word count.
So we will all just have to settle for 11,000 words. It might be a slight exaggeration or it might not be an exaggeration at all. I honestly do not know as I seem to have forgotten the exact word count for some reason, but I do seem to remember that it was in the ballpark of 11,000 words. (Ballpark, I like that, I will have to try and remember to teach it to the students. Leave any hints for how to explain the term “in the ballpark” to non-native speakers in the comment section if you wish.) I can, however, tell you how many words this blog post is at this point in time, at least according to WordPress’ nifty little word counter in the bottom left of my screen (you can’t see it, though, because you do not hold the special title of “Administrator.” 266 words at administrator.
And speaking of Raggedy Andy (or whatever his name was. I am pretty sure it was Raggedy Andy) what the what was up with him and Anne? Were they siblings? BFF’s? Doing it in the yarn store? Seriously, What was up with the relationship between those two? I ask because I do not rightly know. I remember there being such things as Raggedy Anne and Raggedy Andy dolls. I think I vaguely remember my sister having one, but I would not swear to it in a court of law. If they tried to grand jury me over that, I would have no choice but to take the fifth or risk perjuring myself because I honestly do not recall if she had one or not…
Wait a minute… I wouldn’t have to plead the fifth or risk perjury. I mean I don’t recall, honestly, but that’s the defense Oliver North used and it seemed to work out okay. Okay, well it wasn’t really the defense he used. I guess I was getting him confused with that guy in Clear and Present Danger, who when talking about his “Operation Reciprocity” get out of jail free card, etc… etc… he always reminded me of Oliver North saying “I don’t recall council” for some reason. I know, I should never trust movies because they always lie to me, even ones based on fact.
This one comes to mind as a good example (as does its remake, which I never saw, thankfully. I say thankfully because I heard the news reports about how peoples’ eyes were exploding in their sockets and there were tiny demons with big wankers running around and making sweet sweet love to the bloody eye sockets (eye hole raping, in the vernacular–and hey, if you come with me this far on this wild, meandering, and seemingly pointless tirade you have only yourself to blame if the whole eye hole raping thing offended you,but I am glad that you made it that far, and I hope you continue along this crazy journey of a post. If you feel like you can’t well, then don’t break your finger when you click close on this tab, or whatever it is you do to leave this place.)
If you are still here thank you and I will continue my rant as of now.
There are others, but I can’t think of them right now–oh wait, here’s one!
The point is movies lie, and I know they lie, but I listen to them anyway for some reason known only to me and God, and God is dead and I sure as hell am not going to say why I listen to and trust movies. You will think me more of a freak than you already do. Oh, and what I wrote before about God being dead, I did not mean that. What I meant to say is that God is imaginary so he can’t say anything, but it also means that he is not dead. In order to be dead, something had to have once existed–been alive–and God never existed, therefore he cannot be dead. But of course, neither can he be alive. All he can be is some imaginary boogeyman who supposedly espouses love, but loves those who hate. If that doesn’t sound like some idea out of some crazy crack head’s crack addled mind then I don’t know what does.
Movies lie, and there was a movie that showed an Oliver North type–I think he was even supposed to be Oliver North–with Buck Teeth say the words “I don’t recall council.” I want to say it was the first of The Naked Gun movies, but I don’t really think that was it. It just does not make sense for that scene to be in that movie. Granted, not much about The Naked Gun does make a whole lot of sense, but even this seems a little too outlandish. Maybe it was Hotshots! That seems more likely, but I am still unsure. I don’t recall–if you will–and it does not really matter. However, if one of you two brave readers who have come with me this far knows, or finds out, let me know via the comments (gee, did I mention the comments section twice in one post? Am I trying to tell you something? Hmm…?).
So maybe Ollie North did not use the “I don’t recall” defense, but he did play the waffle game (it is a PDF file, look at the top of page 129 and read Ollie’s response to a fairly straightforward question), so I guess I can still use the Oliver North defense when and if I ever get grand juried about the possible existence, and my memory of said possible existence, of a Raggedy Anne or Raggedy Andy doll. That’s right, I am back to those two creepy pale skinned, red headed, rosy cheeked, twined freak dolls that may or may not have been making the twine beast with two backs. So yeah, if anyone knows the story about these freakish, possibly incestuous, dolls, let me know in the, where else, comments section.
Even I admit that this rant is getting a little long in the tooth, especially since there are no pictures. I want to add pics, I really do. I love pictures and videos–oh, I CAN post videos–but for some reason the right click mouse button on my laptop’s mouse pad does not work with the internet. It really is quite annoying as I have forgotten the keyboard shortcut to copy the image location on a pic that I want to share here on this blog. So this wordfest continues to grow without pictures, and I fear that I am trying the patient of even you, the sole reader who has made it this far, and as your reward, some funny or cool things to watch.
And now even YouTube videos are lying to me because even though I do not remember those redheaded freaks, I do remember that they were supposed to be friendly and fun for kids. The two in this video just seem like wannabe Jokers, and bad ones at that.
And speaking of lies, here is a funny video
Final Word Count of this post: 1327.