George Washington: President Bad-Ass

Man, George Washington is a total bad-ass.

First of all there is this:

In 1755, British General Edward Braddock headed a major effort to retake the Ohio Country. Washington eagerly volunteered to serve as one of Braddock’s aides, although the British officers held the colonials in contempt. The expedition ended in disaster at the Battle of the Monongahela. Washington distinguished himself in the debacle – he had two horses shot out from under him, and four bullets pierced his coat – yet, he sustained no injuries and showed coolness under fire. While Washington’s exact leadership role during the battle has been debated, biographer Joseph Ellis asserts that Washington rode back and forth across the battlefield, rallying the remnant of the British and Virginian forces to a retreat. In Virginia, Washington was acclaimed as a hero.

And of course this:

The Continental Congress appointed Washington commander-in-chief of the American revolutionary forces in 1775. The following year, he forced the British out of Boston, lost New York City, and crossed the Delaware River in New Jersey, defeating the surprised enemy units later that year. Because of his strategy, Revolutionary forces captured the two main British combat armies at Saratoga and Yorktown. Negotiating with Congress, the colonial states, and French allies, he held together a tenuous army and a fragile nation amid the threats of disintegration and failure. Following the end of the war in 1783, King George III asked what Washington would do next and was told of rumors that he’d return to his farm; this prompted the king to state, “If he does that, he will be the greatest man in the world.” Washington did return to private life and retired to his plantation at Mount Vernon.[9]

I mean seriously, how bad-ass is that? He gets shot four times, “bullets piercing his coat” but sustains no injuries, remains cool under fire (which begs the question: shouldn’t Americans change the idiom from “Grace under fire” to “George under fire?”) and still manages (allegedly) to rally the remains of the forces which he is with to a successful retreat. Oh, and who can forget the man crossing the Delaware with his army for a surprise attack on Christmas morning. Genius and totally bad-ass.

And then he proved that he was the greatest man in the world (at least according to King George III) by returning to a farmer’s life when the American Revolutionary War was finished.

Washington was no partisan political hack. He was more interested in achieving victory in the war and establishing the idea of the United States of America, than holding power and governing. Not to say that he wasn’t up for those challenges. After all, he was the First President of the United States, so he must have had some interest in politics, or at least in  leading the U.S. during its small and tumultuous beginnings.

And now one more thing to add to the legend of this almost already mythical man: he was so totally bad-ass that it appears he did not feel the need to return his library books.

That’s right, this great man and leader, and possibly the greatest American President ever (with Lincoln being right there with him, after all, Honest Abe–but didn’t Washington say that he couldn’t tell a lie? Then why is it Honest Abe? I’m confused–did abolish slavery and he fought a war to keep the Union together. But he was assassinated, so he loses points there. However, if this is to be believed, he did hunt vampires:

So he gets a few extra points for that to make up for wussing out and allowing some numbnuts like John Wilkes Booth to end his life.) was such a bad-ass that he did not feel the need to return his library books before he died. If that doesn’t say bad-ass, then I really don’t know what does.

Oh, and he fucked the shit out of bears too.

George Washington: Bad-ass.


2 comments on “George Washington: President Bad-Ass

  1. Pdub says:

    Man, I need to bone up on my history. Who knew Lincoln was a vampire hunter?

  2. makayla says:

    this was aboring waste of time…it didn’t help at all…I could make up stuff better than this…… the title was better ….

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