Rant on Return of the Jedi

The one thing I never understood about Return of the Jedi was why did Luke send Leia and Chewie to be captured, along with the droids? And how was Lando able to infiltrate Jaba’s Palace? Plus, Luke tells Han to stay close to Chewie and Lando, does this mean that Han knew the plan all along? Then why does he tell Luke, “you’re gonna die here, you know?”

None of it makes sense. In fact it makes less sense than the ewoks already having a large primitive-yet-effective defense system in place that the Empire somehow never found or recognized. For that matter, it doesn’t make sense that the Ewoks were on the moon at all. The Empire, after all, is a fascist government that commits genocide regularly–they enslaved and killed Wookies and they blew up an entire planet. Why they would leave some furry cannibalistic forest creatures alone doesn’t make any sense. I mean it’s not like they were the Christmas Critters or something–they were just evil teddy bears with awesome forestry skills.

But as little sense as the Ewoks make, Luke’s planning for everyone and everything to get captured by Jabba just so they can then escape (and I still ask: HOW THE HELL DID LANDO become part of the palace guard?) ices the cake of the nonsensical in Return of the Jedi.


2 comments on “Rant on Return of the Jedi

  1. Adrienne says:

    Dude, you say it all in your tags: Lucas sucks.

    When I first saw Jedi, I was 12 years old and I thought it was wonderful. Being a 12 year old girl, thought it was great Han got rescued, and I thought Ewoks were cute. And then I got older and realized what a shitty movie Jedi really was. (the whole wussification of Han starts with this movie and that offended my Han Solo-obssessed sensibilities something fierce once I was old enough to recognize it)

    Y’know what bugged me about it (aside from your excellent points) was the timeline on the Death Star. Really, how long had has supposedly passed between the end of SW and the beginning of Jedi? For some reason, I keep thinking a year maybe. And they’ve already got nearly an entire other Death Star built??? I mean, even with advanced technology, something that size is going to take YEARS to build. The only way I could’ve bought it is if it was started at the same time as the original Death Star, but I certainly never got the feeling that was the case…

    Also hated how Luke went from Jedi screw up at end of Empire to bad-ass Jedi at beginning of Jedi. Once again, HOW MUCH FREAKING TIME HAS PASSED??

    Ok, I will stop ranting now. Stupid movie. Stupid Lucas. No wonder I only ever still watch Star Wars and Empire. The other four movies are unwatchable for me now.

    • I agree with your timeline issues Adrienne, and the only thing I can is that I think it’s supposed to be five years, but that’s still not nearly enough time for Luke to become Uber-Jedi, nor is it enough time to build a new death star (something I totally never thought about but agree with completely) considering it took them like 20 years to build the first one. Stupid Lucas indeed.

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