Insomnia, you my only friend

I suffer from insomnia. I have for a long long time. Most of my life actually. It is quite tiresome, if you’ll excuse the pun.

It is the form of insomnia that prevents me from getting to sleep, but once I finally do enter the realm of the Sandman I usually stay there for hours. Of course the problem is that I don’t often have hours to spend sleeping, especially once the sun comes up.

I have read a lot of articles about how to beat insomnia. Such advice includes:
Unplug at least an hour before bedtime
Meditative breathing
Keeping a journal
Making sure the room is as dark as possible (wear an eye mask if the room can’t get completely dark)
Using the bed only for sex and sleep
Get a different mattress or pillow or both
Use a white noise machine
Listen to calming and relaxing music
Set and keep a regular sleep schedule
Don’t over indulge in alcohol

And then there is this article that addresses what to do once you are in bed, but still can’t sleep.

All of these pieces of advice are good ones, and I have had some success with the ones I have tried, which is most of them, but ultimately they end up failing me. Or I end up failing them; I am not sure which. What I am sure of is that the Sandman constantly passes me over on a nightly basis, a most frustrating and bothersome thing.

For a little while I had the insomnia under control. Sure, it was still difficult for me to go to sleep, but it was easier than it had been in a long time. Then something happened, and the insomnia monster reared its ugly head again, coming back tenfold stronger than it ever was. I am not exactly sure what happened, though I have some ideas that I do not want to get into right now, but I am sure that it sucks. In the past three days, I have had one night where I did not sleep at all, was up the whole next day, finally fell asleep around 10 pm, only to wake up at midnight, then finally fell asleep for good at 1am, and last night I was up until about 5 am before falling asleep and then waking up at about 9 am.

Life can be difficult when I get enough sleep, but when I don’t, it gets downright miserable. My tolerance for social interactions lower, as does my patience for people, pets, and pretty much everything. I run the risk of turning into a raging jerk, and while I can that how I am behaving is inappropriate and uncalled for, I am seldom able to muster the energy to reign myself in. Not sleeping makes me short-tempered and easily bothered/angered by things I would normally shrug off.

All of this is to say that insomnia sucks. It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. And in the words of the eels