You know how I know Sucker Punch is going to be a terrible movie, aside from the fact that it’s the brain child of that hack Zack Snyder (Watch the trailer and count how many slow motion scenes are shown, I counted at least five, but you know there will be more in the actual film?

Well, two days before it opens on March 25th and there isn’t a single review on Rottentomatoes or aintitcoolnews, which can really only mean that it has not been sent to the critics. Usually when that happens it means that the movie is going to be trash.
Not that I need to read any reviews to know it’s going to be a waste of time and money.

I get that it’s supposed to be set in the mind of some girl and that she uses her fantasies to escape reality, but everything in the preview just looks fake–and I don’t mean the fact that these women imagine themselves as some kind of super commandos–I mean with the washed out color schemes, all those grays and blues that are so popular nowadays and make every movie look the same, the sparkly skin, and the explosions that are loud and pretty, but have no impact or sense of reality.

I do dig seeing Scot Glenn working again, but I don’t think even he can save this movie–after all he’s just the wise old man who tells them what they need to do. And Carla Gugino’s faux Russian/East bloc accent in the trailer is atrocious. She sounds like more of a caricature than Natasha from the old Bullwinkle cartoons.

Sadly, though, I am sure this movie will make tons of money, and in Hollywood, that’s all that matters, right?